Good for a laugh… Or two…

I was teasing a really good friend of mine several days ago about the benefits of twitter versus texts. My facebook post to him started with strains of “anything you can do I can do better” and ended with me reminding him I was Valedictorian in my graduating class of “one-up-manship!”

In all honesty I rarely do the “one-up” thing. I have a brother who “one-ups” so frequently that I’m sure our entire family, including the next three generations, will be completely exempt from it. However, with this particular friend of mine “one-up-manship” is an actual sport and is almost always required else we forfeit a point to the other. *snicker*

Anyway, until this past Tuesday I was unaware that a person could actually “one-up” themselves! Wow… Who knew?

Some of you may remember my infamous room “incident” in Vegas (not to be confused with my infamous “plane” incident) this past December. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it; allow me to share. It started on a Saturday morning. I was tired from being up too early and my feet were killing me from walking around in six inch heels for over twelve hours the day before. In future I will remember to wear comfy clothes AND shoes on days when I’m flying… You never know when you will actually make it to the room after landing.

So, I hurried downstairs to meet with Brian Rouff, fellow author and Managing Partner at Imagine Marketing. I was very excited to pick his brain and hear his suggestions. I was ecstatic when he gave me two of his books.

Fast forward a couple hours and I’m standing in the elevator waiting for the doors to close when a rather inebriated guy comes rushing in. Gee, six elevators and he HAD to get in mine right?!? I’m flipping through one of my new books but I will state for the record I DID look to see what button he had pressed on the panel. The only light I saw lit was the “30” so I went back to reading. I finally heard a ding, the doors opened and the drunk guy rushed out as if the hounds of hell were chasing him.

Have I mentioned yet that I was reading? Or that I love peripheral vision? I can read AND walk at the same time!

I make the long trek down the hallway to the room I’m sharing with the same friend I was teasing in my facebook post. I reach the door and manage to turn the book’s page with my right hand while simultaneously sliding the card into the slot with my left. I don’t hear the click the door should make and I look at the card reader. I see the light is still red. I sigh. We were having issues with the card reader last night too. I try it again. Nothing. I ring the doorbell. No answer. I dial my friend’s cell and the following is our conversation:

Hey, are you still in the room?

Yeah…

Can you open the door please? The freaking card isn’t working again!

Okay…

I hear movement…

There is a long silent pause…

Are you still there?

Yes… I’m right outside!

There is another even longer silent pause…

Are you sure you’re on the right floor?

My eyes fly to the room number on the wall to the left of the door.

Fuuuuucck! (Sorry)

I start laughing uncontrollably…

I’m on the 29^th floor!

Moral of this story is you should never read AND walk at the same time. However, if you DO, make sure to check the floor number before exiting the elevator. I think I laughed the entire way to the correct room!

Anyway, I never thought I could top that but wouldn’t you know it; I did. As my friend Stephen told me once in a totally unrelated topic “only you Charline, only YOU!”

Tuesday I had an appointment at noon to discuss social media, etc. The meeting was set over a week ago and while I didn’t know exactly where the location was I knew I could Google it and get a physical address.

Most of you know I’m incredibly busy but did you also know I’m the queen of multi-tasking? Who else but me mops the floor with my right hand while talking on the phone with my left? Yes, I can chew gum at the same time too…

I should state I also read / review books for RebeccasReads. In fact I was reading a book I needed to review while looking up the restaurant’s address. It’s really quite easy. You read the book and whenever you turn the page you type whatever you need on the computer. Click enter, let the computer do it’s thing and by the time you flip the next page whatever you’re searching for will be there. Finding this particular location was a little more in-depth because first I had to find the website, then I had to find locations, narrow it down to Arizona, to Scottsdale, etc. I did mention I was READING right??

To make an incredibly long story somewhat shorter…

I arrived at the restaurant ten minutes early. I ran inside, grabbed a caramel frap and sat down outside. I was using my Blackberry to read emails. (Is anyone sensing a theme here?) I also noticed it was after twelve and still no sign of him. Hmmm… I wonder if we missed each other when I was getting my drink. My phone rings about five minutes later.

Hello?

Hi, I just wanted to let you know I’m inside, kind of in a room in the back.

Ok. I’m here. I’m outside.

You are?

Yeah…

A little more conversation about where I am outside.

I hear movement…

I hear silence…

All of a sudden I’m having flashbacks to a similar conversation…

I don’t see you.

I walk around the side where there are more tables and I don’t see him either. I didn’t swear this time. At least not verbally!

We figure out I’m at the wrong location. I apologize profusely and then ask him to tell me where he’s at so I can drive there. He starts to but then he stops. I can almost hear the wheels in his mind turning. He’s thought better of it and has decided HE will drive to where I’m at. I know he thinks I’ll get lost; he’s just too polite to actually say it.

He arrives ten minutes later and I apologize again. I tried really hard not to dissolve into laughter but I failed miserably.

Like I told him… He will definitely never be able to forget me!

For the record, I’m not usually this ditzy.  However, the good news is that at least when I am I can laugh about it. 😉

Oh right… I should pull my nose out of whatever book I’m reading more often! And no… I wasn’t reading when I wrote this…